Why is Applying to College Absolutely the Worst?
By: Chiara Bruzzi
College is scary, and the college application process is even more frightening. In the past few months, I have been trying to figure out why, every year, high school seniors have a hard time embarking on the college application process. I came to conclude that the college application process is so stressful and intimidating because of everything it represents. The abstract feelings which all seniors feel, but college counselors can’t understand. The notion that every application is a measure of success both of your past and your future. That is because the strength of your application asses your success in the past, while the reputation of the school you are applying to assess your threshold of success in the future. And just like that, you are stuck in the present, while being attacked by the past and the future. It is too much to think about and too stressful to experience. And yet, you have to push through, sit down, and breathe as you write yet another version of your personal essay.
When it comes to college, everything is fair game. Everyone feels entitled to share their opinions about the decisions you are making; from college counselors to family members, they all have something to say about what you should do with your future. As you try to make sense of what everyone is telling you to do, you ask yourself what do I want? That is when your pride and expectations get the best of you, and you decide that it is either Harvard or failure. And just like that, you are back at square one, second-guessing yourself about every decision you made.
So when does the self-sabotaging end? When does the second-guessing stop? And, most importantly, when does confidence present itself? Some may say that the answer to all of those questions is subjective to the individual, but I believe the correct answer is never. Because no matter the choice you make or the school you pick, there are going to be imperfections. There are always going to be bumps along the way that will throw you into that negative cycle of overthinking all over again.
As pessimistic and horrible as all of this sounds, the college application process’s uncertainty is what makes it most exciting. It keeps you on your toes, and it generates an array of emotions when you receive your first acceptance letter.
Most students think that the college process ends when you get accepted into the school of your choice, but that is far from the truth. Even once the dust has settled, and senioritis starts creeping in, doubts and fears about whether or not you made the right decision begin to enter your mind. When this happens, it is crucial to put your future into perspective. To understand that at the end of a tunnel, there is always light. No matter the tunnel, you decided to throw yourself into. In every path that is available to you, there is ALWAYS room for success. Success as you define it because success is subjective to one’s restrictions. Whether those restrictions are economical, race, or gender-based, they exist, affecting the ceiling of success in different ways. So do not compare yourself to someone else’s journey. Their success is in no way reflective of your failure. This is your life, as you choose it to be. No one can write your story, because if they could, then it wouldn’t be yours to write.