What is a Woman’s Biggest Insecurity in 2020?

Chiara Bruzzi/ July 10, 2020/ Feminism/ 7 comments

By: Chiara Bruzzi

Before I explain what I believe to be an unpopular opinion, let me remind you that this is an OBSERVATION that is primarily based on the women I am surrounded by. There is no science behind it; in fact, all that I have to prove my theory is my common sense, deep thinking, and perhaps persuasive writing. Without further adieu, let’s begin!

In the technological society we live in today, women are under a lot of pressure to be “perfect.” What perfection looks like varies from individual to individual, but at the end of the day, we all feel the pressure. You would think that with social media, a place where well-orchestrated photos rather than raw representations of life are shared, women’s biggest insecurity in 2020 would be related to appearance. I don’t blame you, and I don’t disagree that in 2020 a woman’s confidence about her body and appearance comes from the approval of judgemental and, sometimes, fabricated social media users. However, as problematic as social media is, a woman’s insecurity about her body and appearance is not nearly as important as her self-worth. In fact, in 2020, a woman’s most dangerous insecurity has nothing to do with appearance. Instead, it has to do with a part of the body that most people see as having no superficial attraction towards… the brain. This may be a rather unspoken reality, but in 2020, many women are insecure about their intelligence. 

This year, I have heard a worrisome amount of my girlfriends uttering the word “dumb” when adversity struck at school. As a woman, this irritates me every time. It annoys me not because it is usually one of my brilliant girlfriends that says it, but because the moment that word comes out of her mouth is the moment that she begins to judge herself, consequently hindering her confidence. For this reason, being insecure about your intelligence is probably one of the worst things you can do to yourself. A woman who is seen as unintelligent is a woman who is also seen as incapable and susceptible to a man’s power; that is because, in today’s society, women have to prove their worth before they can be taken seriously. If women wish to rise in society’s ladder, then they must stop thinking that they are mentally not good enough for this world. Personally, I have never been one to be insecure about my intelligence; however, I can understand how someone could be. I cannot accurately link the influence of the world we live in with the increase of this insecurity among women, but I can invite you to read my theory on the cause of this insecurity. 

Nowadays, women are often insecure about their intelligence because it is an aspect that was never addressed in the fight for gender equality. In the 19th century, when women started standing up for themselves, they argued that women and men should be seen as equal under the law because a person’s anatomy did not dictate their capabilities. That argument led to reforms that made men and women somewhat similar under the law (as seen by the 14th and 19th amendments in the Constitution), but it didn’t necessarily mean they would be seen as equals in society. At the time, the women advocating for these amendments were satisfied when they were passed in the 1900s, but now that the dust has settled, it is easy to see that these reforms didn’t nearly do enough. After reading the previous sentence, some of you may think that that analysis was a bit critical of society, but if that were true, why is it still hard for women to succeed in the STEM field? I don’t need to get into the details of the gender gap to make the previous rhetorical question effective, because just the fact that it exists proves that society still has a hard time seeing men and women as possessing the same mental capabilities. 

For those of you who are still having a hard time understanding that society hasn’t substantially changed throughout history, let me explain using an analogy. If we were to think of society as a woman, then we would see that over the years, this woman has changed her appearance many times. When she was young she only wore pink dresses and long skirts, and as she got older, she started rebelling and revolutionizing and she began to wear short shorts and pink hair. The people around her slowly watched her change; some encouraged her while others watched in disbelief. Eventually, they all came to accept her, but only a few truly embraced her. The difference between the way that this woman was treated by those who accepted her versus those who embraced her is similar to the way our society has changed throughout history. To a certain extent, everyone accepts the society they live in, but only a few embrace it, leading to a society that has externally rather than internally changed.

I do not mean to sound so negative when I say that there is still a long way to go before we consider our society to be equal and inclusive, but I do attempt to highlight some of society’s faults. Without women feeling confident about their intelligence, there can be no real form of gender equality or inclusivity. You may think that the only way our society can achieve these goals is through women, but you would be a fool to believe that only women have to change for society to be fixed. We must not forget that the source of women’s insecurity often comes from the external world. It is stigma and discrimination that causes women to stay away from the STEM field and, similarly, away from being confident of their own intellect. It takes men and women (together) to change society. If there is one thing that I want you to take away from this post is that previous statement. Women cannot stop being insecure about their intelligence without men’s help. Unfortunately, that is the raw truth. 

There is one characteristic that all women in the STEM field (and other fields with small female representation) share: resilience. No matter who they are, these women are persistent and robust (they need to be if they wish to survive in a predominantly male field). That is why not being insecure about one’s intelligence, as a woman, is not just about feeling smart, but it is about finding the confidence to determine your self-worth from within you. It is about understanding that as a woman, your place in society can only be characterized by your dreams and ambitions and not by someone else’s opinion of you. I want to end this post with a statement that I think does an excellent job of grasping the essence of the discussion: 

No person in this world can determine a woman’s self-worth except for herself.

She is the only one that can discover the value she holds within. 

P.S. If you are a woman: next time you’re insecure about your intelligence, think if this one instance in life reflects all of the knowledge you have in your brain. For my girlfriends, next time you fail a test, reflect on whether the exam questions required skills such as sympathy and creativity (which are the two areas that women are statistically strongest in). You are living in a man’s world, and the only way you can survive it is if you tackle it with strength and courage. Men have always been taught to be strong and powerful, so they often channel their interests into a field where they will be successful. Do the same. Pick for yourself what you want to channel your strength in, but do not bring yourself down in other areas. Your smartness lies within you and not on a letter grade on a piece of paper…